FAQ

My greatest moments of fun in life are usually those when people ask what I really do: I run a school and temple of tantric BDSI. “What? You teach sex and violence?’ ---- No Mister I do not! And YES SIR, I love it!

And here the real answer I give: I teach deep embodied consent, healing, coming into your power, embodying love, and pleasure flights that put your brain into waves which lets you see the divine in you and others.

In short it is about locking the moment of Oneness and Consciousness (the divine power) into our body system, so we stay in it as much of the day as we can. ConSensual is a deeply spiritual pathway with and via body states that are blissful. AND yes, it is all about the greatest gift of the divine to human kind: sexual (kundalini) life force energy, the capacity of true intimacy with yourself and others (also commonly called LOVE) and the power to stand our ground and surrender to life.

Yup, and we do that in consecrated, radically consensual spaces playing with sacred tools and frankly simply putting fun, innocence, kink, laughter, toys, play and pleasure into the serious business of embodiment, expansion of consciousness, trauma healing, and self-development.

Why not embody fun and pleasure, leading a more inspired life of joy and really filling your cup to the brim – every day?

Yet, be not mistaken: it is not about feeling better all the time. If you want to understand spiritual orgasmic states, you need to understand and feel your pain fully, your boredom, your security mechanisms, your boundaries.

We come to Oneness via uniting polarities, it needs both sides. So ConSensual is not about making you feel better, it is about accompanying you on a pathway that makes you radically better at feeling, and with that healing and subsequently expanding yourself. 

Tantric arts show people the way towards a rich and fulfilled life, towards the experience of divine bliss that is available to ALL of us, not just the selected few and not just for a short period of time.

It is a form of meditative state that circulates sexual energy putting your brain into A-wave and complete presence here and now (the only moment the human body unites with the unity of divine consciousness).

This is the only natural biological state in which our brain security system is quiet and through body bliss states we can travel and see or better feel our actual state of complete presence and divine nature (and that of everybody else, no matter what they look like or seem to be on the outside).

The practice aims to enlarge your container to circulate more energy. Our bodies are always right, it is us who overstep, do not listen, contract our heart, and commit the “sin” of body negativity. Tantric practice teaches you to stay in high energy states and not go for quick fix gratification that throws the energy out of your body.

Become and stay orgasmic in the whole body, rather than be driven by stuckness in the lower body.

So, in a nutshell, the form of Tantra we invoke at ConSensual is a deep meditation, a holy communion and a dance with the force of creation. 

First of all I personally made up the acronym (and was the very first to ever do so) and I invented/downloaded every technique in the practices. It means Bondage, Dominance, Submission, and Impact Play.

It is sacred temple kink, with an utterly deep spiritual meaning. BDSI practices multiply the ability to stir the energy and make it flow, the tantric approach makes sure we get to circulate it all the way up into the heart, throat, third eye and crown chakra.

Every implement and form of play has multiple potentials: from self-love dance to shamanic drummed heart chakra opening, floggers are soft, caressing and immensely powerful energetic transmitters of love and presence. Roping (bondage) is the pinnacle of playing a body like a harp without ever touching the skin (with special, energy conducting ropes), holding in presence so that another might expand into restriction and fall into the deepest sense of care taking as we only know from being in mother’s womb.

Consent – well actually even discovering whether you can feel enough of your body wisdom to find out what your consent is – and body-heart led negotiation are essential practice fields of Tantric BDSI; fully understanding your power centre for standing up for yourself and taking your place as well as actually getting what it means to surrender control and be led by the energy of sheer life itself are some of the most mind blowing potentials.

And authentically embodying your own eroticism and every last inch of any hidden fantasy is nothing short of a miracle. Just to say it again: this is utterly serious business of transformation, self-development, healing, spirituality and falling into your authentic true self – so expect a sh…load of processes to happen.

Yet, we believe that you may also have it with ease, fun, laughter, bliss and play if you do it in the sacredness of your own temple. 

Everybody above 21 (completion of own energy field) who wants to explore this. 

However, ConSensual delves in very deep. If you are not ready to look down the pit and truly transform, then less deep forms of tantric work might be better for you.

The ConSensual retreats are 4 or 7 days. We have a strong preference to have everybody sleep at Casa LoJeMa so you can fully immerse into being held and illuminated by the energy of the EE-System and the temple. 

We will have ample breaks, but ConSensual is an intense experience. We start with a morning program around 7:30 and usually end around 23:00 (temple night is longer, but no morning program on Sunday).

We have catering and provide ample healthy snacks in between. We have a very high ratio between participants and team, close to 2:1, there is ample space for personal support to every participant.

We recommend you delve in and leave the outside world behind; we will give registered participants a phone number to pass on.

About 3 weeks before the retreat you will receive a detail welcome mail with all information.

Before Pathway I as such no. Just bring yourself. You cannot participate in any of the higher Pathways without having completed Pathway I.

As we delve deep in, we welcome some experience in tantra or BDSI as it will help you understand the consecrated depth of the work faster.

However, we will take you a long the way fast, no matter your previous experience. Just bring an openness for experience beyond the logic of the mind.

Yes there definitely are!

You will sign a waver and we will explain all rules at the beginning of the retreat.

For example, there is no penetrative or oral sex allowed in the temple space (no same old, same old… allow to experience something else).

All our practices can be done energetically. 

For the safety of all we maintain strict confidentiality, we will ask for consent on any images (if we take any at all), we have guidelines on power dynamics between team and participants, courtesy rules for couples, there will be daily hours of great silence in the house, and many more things that are intended to keep us all safe, stay in integrity, receive you fully and allow expansion.

We will go through all rules and guidelines at every retreat.

First up, nothing will happen that you do not want and there is no forcing you into any activity.

Consent is paramount, actually learning how to feel proper somatic consent and say no is the point of ConSensual. We have the rule that you cannot skip any exercise (or leave the premises) without a conversation with the lead facilitators.

We will support you in discerning whether stepping in is the best way into your expansion or saying no and staying in the space to watch (or even back to bed) is the right thing.

Your no is always welcome. Just remember we are here to trouble the comfortable and deeply comfort the troubled.

Let us support you in your consent journey!

Accommodation at Casa LoJeMa is complimentary and included in your retreat price. We recommend you stay in the house for the full experience.

However, accommodation with us is simple, in multiple occupancy and with shared bathrooms. The house is old, we are not a hotel, but it is very beautiful.

We only have three double rooms for which we prioritise couples who are on the full journey and on a first register first serve basis. 

If you absolutely wish to stay somewhere else, this is at your own cost, there is no accommodation reimbursement. There are ample AirB&B in the area. Please let us know early if you are not staying at the house as it might impact numbers.

Meals are provided by an external caterer and have to be paid, in cash, at the beginning of the retreat, they are not included in the retreat price. For a 4 day retreat they are around 140,- euros.

You are absolutely welcome alone, the majority of participants come alone.

If you have a partner(s) who is/are not participating in the retreat we encourage you to make clear agreements and let us know about those agreements, so we can support you in your integrity.

Please note we explicitly seek to counter the deeply ingrained heteronormative parts of tantric traditions. Expect us to undo gender norms. We do not have women’s and men’s places and we do not care what gender identity you have or what the numbers are.

At ConSensual we have never experienced a problem with ‘gender balance’.

We will support partners who are coming together especially by giving ample time for negotiation ahead of an exercise and by always having a couple on the team who are available for couple processes.

Be prepared to have ‘two retreats in parallel’ as a couple: one for your own process and one for the couple process 😊

Yes everybody is.

We are not only nominally LGBTQI friendly, we truly practice inclusion and getting, step outside of heteronormative assumptions, do not have women and men places, or assume any sexual orientation.

But we still work with the principles of ying/yang energies, masculine and feminine essences in us all, and being straight is also a beautiful way of being.

Given who Jonathan is (a trans man with a long lesbian history and many years of professional activism for the cause) it is probably fair to say that ConSensual is one of the very few schools of tantra that is truly open to LGBTQI people.

And while we are talking of diversity: our team is very diverse on all sorts of levels. We will receive you with everything you are, and yet, we will not tolerate unconscious behaviour or remarks vis-à-vis racism, able-bodyism or ageism etc.

We are always open to learn if the environment is not inclusive for you and we welcome the challenge to everybody to grow into deep respect and celebration of human (and spiritual) diversity.

We are located near Leuven in Belgium, Tiensesteenweg 270, 3360 Lovenjoel. We have ample parking and public transport arrives in front of our door.

Casa LoJeMa is an old farm fully renovated, but it has its squeaks and squerks… it is not a hotel but an experience. We have a small garden, but 5 minutes away by foot is a beautiful nature park in which you can walk.

We provide a link for car pooling but this is not coordinated by us, it remains among participants.

Pathway I retreats start around 18:00 on a Thursday and end at 17:00 on a Sunday, Pathway II – IV start on Thursday morning at 9:00 (night before is included if you wish) and end on Sunday 17:00.

No accommodation is available from Sunday night to Monday night, the house is reserved for the team.

Pathway V and VI start on a Saturday afternoon and end on the next Saturday afternoon.

As such no, but we spend a lot of time on the floor and certain exercises might be strenuous to some.

We will usually find a solution for you to participate within your physical limits, many have already done so, we are always full of ideas.

Talk to us if you are blind, with reduced mobility, pregnant or anything else, we will find solutions for you to be with us. Please note however: Casa LoJeMa is a very old building and it is not truly wheelchair accessible.

We bought several ramps to give access downstairs, but it is far from good access. We will do what we can and acknowledge the limitations.

You find our privacy statement in the footer. 

We never share any contact details from our side unless you give permission, the sign-up to the newsletter has to be done by yourself in addition to your registration.

We ask for confidentiality agreements during the retreat and will never use images on which any person is recognisable without your consent (ie we do not take them if you have not opted in in the first place).

For further details refer to our statement please.

Click on the button of the retreat you want or the package you wish for or on any book now button on this site.

Navigate to the package or the individual retreat you want. Note if you buy the reduced price package you have to immediately use it for booking the retreat dates you want, otherwise your place on the retreats is not secured.

We usually fill up fast so please make your decision early on, we do not reserve or keep places.

Payment is due with the check-out of the registration. Please note the cancellation policy.

We can never change an invoice issued, so please pay attention to filling in all your data (including your VAT number, company etc). 

No changes are possible in hindsight. The invoice will state e.g. Pathway Journey Package, or Pathway I retreat.

This too cannot be changed. If you wish for another invoice you have to contact us first and discuss it with us.

Please note we only make exceptions rarely and the VAT is then due on top of the price.